Totino’s Pizza Rolls Tim & Eric Commercial

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tim n eric pizza rols

So the first commercial I saw from Tim & Eric was the GE one, and now Totino’s has them on board for their Pizza Rolls. This is pure genius, more companies need to get their shit together and hire these guys. I know Tim & Eric are a love/hate thing for most people, and I admit early on I don’t think i really understood them, honestly there’s a lot that I still don’t understand. Either way I love what they do whether it makes me laugh or cringe, I’m fully on board with these guys. I have a strange hunger for pizza rolls now too.

Hit the jump for rolled pizza

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Clips From the ‘Wayne’s World’ VCR Board Game

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waynes world vhs game

Justin McElroy has compiled some clips taken from the Wayne’s World VCR board game based on the classic Saturday Night Live sketches and movie. From what i’ve read the creators of the game were unable to secure Mike Myers or Dana Carvey for the games VHS clips, so what you get is some mish mash of shit thrown together from I don’t know where. Did anyone ever get into the VHS game hype? I know I didn’t, shit just seemed weird. I was never a fan of board games in general as a child, and adding a video to it would do nothing for me. Turns out i was right not to like them, shit is just weird and uncomfortable like those summers spent at Uncle Freddies.

Hit the jump for VHS

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Vegan Deli Protest

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vegan protest

Vegans are a weird bunch sometimes.  I know quite a few and they have never done anything bizarre.  Then I see this video and I question everything.  These vegans (*spoiler alert*) stage a funeral for a frozen chicken in front of a deli because “It’s not food, it’s violence.” their words, not mine.  I honestly don’t know if these guys have even tried any of the better meats, maybe some capicola, sopressatta, or proscuitto (Yes I’m very aware my Italian is showing), but if I think if they did try some they would realize just how delicious that murder can be.  Hell, one time I had a Foie Gras appetizer with a veal entree which I dubbed, with some accuracy, the “Animal Cruelty Meal”.  And it was fucking amazing. If I saw these folks protesting at my deli I would reorder that meal in a New York second (with an addition veal patty), place the Foie Gras between the two veal patties, essentially making the 1%’er Double Down, and go enjoy that sandwich right in their face.

P.S  Maybe if they started eating some meat, they wouldn’t need 4 people to carry a cardboard casket with a 10 lb chicken in it.  I mean, I’m sure they would say it’s done to help drive their point home, but I say that Kale probably doesn’t have all the nutrients you need, guys.

Hit the jump for Senor Pollo’s Eulogy (trigger warning, may want to make you punch any uppity vegan you come across)

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Garfunkel and Oates – Such a Loser

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garfunkel n oates loser

I’m a huge fan of Garfunkel and Oates.  As far as parody songs go, they have some pretty damn catchy tunes and smart lyrics.  The Loophole (Fairly NSFW lyrics) and Weed Card are some personal favorites.  Such a Loser deviates from their formula a little bit and comes across as a backhanded compliment-y type way.  The animation is pretty basic, but it works with the song as a whole, so I’ll allow it.  And let’s be honest for a second.  Everyone’s a loser in that regard, but damn persistent losers.  Because everyone sucks at this life thing, and it’s been going on for however long and if you’re reading this then you’re still going strong at it.  Except me, I’m pretty fucking rad. I mean I write for a blog, what do you do? I don’t see you writing for Classy Dicks!! I’m popular and cool damnit! FUCK! Arguing against myself on a blog probably makes me a loser, huh? Shit. Time to cheer myself up with a nice little melody.

Hit the Jump for some inspiration, losers.

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Jack – 0 Hot Glow Stick – 1

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glowstick explode

Hey self lets put a glowstick in the microwave real quick. OK self but Dad says it’s bad idea. Whatever, Dad will never find out!  Well, turns out Dad knows his shit, and Nothing like adding insult to injury. Not only do you have third degree burns, you have also poisoned your face and ruined your beautiful shirt you ding-a-ling.

Hit the jump for poison control

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