Ahhhh The Perils of Office Dating

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office romance foot

So this is the story of an Average Joe office worker asking his co-worker on a date, or at least trying to. But to be honest, this is the story of any guy asking any girl out ever. Because I don’t care how smooth or suave you think you are, when you start asking a girl out in the heat of the moment you’re forgetting verbs, over describing simple things, or just generally speaking ghibberish that somehow the girl ends up understanding. Speaking some long forgotten Neanderthal language must be cute to them for reasons beyond my comprehension. But luckily enough I don’t have to deal with this anymore, and not just because some girl decided to take pity on me. My office is 95% dudes. So unless I decide trolling for dick is my thing, office romance is out the window for me. And along with it the feeling of not having to slowly shove my foot ever so lovingly into my mouth when I inevitably end up fucking up while talking.

Hit the jump for L’amour.

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Trailer Review – “Avengers: Age of Ultron”

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age of Ultron

This looks like the darkest marvel movie yet. This villain is the first one in which I actually fear. The other marvel villains where bad asses in concept, but didn’t have that holy crap feel to them. Examples? Loki, Obadiah Stane, The Winter Soldier, well he was a bad ass but he was Steve Rogers friend. That doesn’t count in my book. How about that bitch with the hammer in Guardians? Ronin… nah, he was just a bitch with a hammer, which is scary don’t get me wrong. If you wake up in the middle of the night with some crazy bitch holding a hammer… sssssshhhhiiiiiiiitttttt, I’m out like a fat kid in dodge ball. Anyway where was I?

hit the jump for pure evil awesomeness!

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Jim Carrey Does Matthew McConaughey’s Lincoln Commercials

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carey snl lincoln

Jim Carrey hosted SNL this weekend and by far my favorite thing of the night were these parody Lincoln commercials which star Carrey as Mathew McConaughey. Perfect casting and a perfect take on the original commercial. Having Carrey play off on the ultra seriousness of McConaughey is awesome. SNL has been rolling out some of the best material in years this season and I hope it continues.

Hit the jump for Lincoln

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Women, Can’t Live With Em, Can’t Put Out A Fire!

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extinguisher face

Thank GOD I do the cooking in my house. If I had to rely on this pretty little thang to help out in the case of an emergency???? We would all be dead! My Japanese is rusty but I think he said pull the pin and point the nozzle at the fire. Epic fail. I’m not just saying that because she really can’t see the fire. Dice Clay, dental floss , Google it.

Hit the jump for some fire safety

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