Now listen. Everyone I know has their own ritual and philosophy for pooping outside of their house, where the home bowl advantage isn’t a factor. Some people follow the little tips and tricks that the video gives, while others will forgo pooping outside of their house and just save it for one glorious porcelain relaxation session when they get home. However, what this video doesn’t get into is the harrowing effects of working at a small company and having to use the bathroom. That’s the horror I live everyday, and I’m here to drop some knowledge on you.
1) There is only a one person bathroom and it is right near other peoples office. If you make any noise louder than a peep you just have to assume they heard everything……everything. It’s a small room filled with tiles and not much acoustic dampening. Don’t expect any applause for your porcelain concerto when you get out. More likely than not, you’ll be avoiding eye contact with people in those offices and taking a walk of shame back to your cube.
2) Similarly, since it’s only a one person bathroom, people can usually dedeuce (GET IT, GET IT??) who’s in there if they have to go and door is locked. So just like before, when you leave your unspeakable stink in the room, people are gonna know who did it. Judgment galore!
3) The one benefit though, is if you know the people you work with well enough, you can go in there and just carpet bomb the toilet like you’re looking for oil. Because at the end of the day they may give you flak for it, but you’ll have left that bathroom knowing someone has to go into that bathroom after you, god bless his/her soul, and there is not a stinkier revenge than that.
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