Frozen Is The New Black

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frozen is the new black

Has Disney had a bigger non Pixar animated hit movie than Frozen in recent memory? I don’t think so, that shit is everywhere, but i’m no expert on the matter. I saw Frozen, it was a fine movie, made me laugh. Now take Frozen and mash it up with Netflix’s Orange is the New Black, I’m sold. A princess prison populated with Disney characters living in the world created by the Netflix show, just let me know when the season starts.

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Pizza Prank

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pizza prank

Not by any means a new prank, but this shit just makes me laugh every time someone does it. Call one pizza place, make an order then put on hold and conference with another pizza shop. So simple. so immature and juvenile, so funny.

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…And Now Candles For Other Occasions

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Candle company Flick Candles has been hard at work perfecting all those scents you didn’t know you needed in your life. From Cancelled Vacation, Defriend, and Freshly Signed Divorce Papers. You could probably just buy a few of them and get the scent of your life. Good thing the only one I need is Friend Zone, sigh. Flick has these for sale on their site at $16.99 each. Hopefully for the next batch they get the missing scents in there like Cat Lady, Video Game Nerd, and Die Alone.

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Shark Scare Prank

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digital shark

This is footage from Washington D.C.’s International Spy Museum, in particular Exquisitely Evil: 50 Years of Bond Villains. Believing you are about to be eaten by a shark is hilarious, but I don’t get how this is some kind of evil Bond villain shit. Was this in a Bond movie? Was there an evil mastermind frightening old people to death? If there is let me know in the comments cause I wanna see it.

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Ninebot Kitchen Adventures

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I don’t know about the rest of you, but you can’t buy a Ninebot and expect to hit the streets day 1 and impress the ladies. This shit takes practice, slow turns, tight turns, speedy turns, and the best place for this is of course the kitchen. It’s a damn good thing momma hadn’t already fallen asleep watchin her stories, Andretti here could have died. Thanks to Wes for the tip.

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Lion Cub Gets His Head Stuck In A Buffalo Butt

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lion head ass

At Kruger National Park in South Africa this lion cub got his head stuck in a dead buffalo’s asshole. I’m not sure if this cub is dim or was just never taught that you never start “ass first”. Be a gentleman for christ’s sake, you gotta start top to bottom or front to back. We all know the sweetest meat is in the rear kid, but this isn’t fucking amateur hour. It was reported the following day by the cameraman that the rest of the lions had eaten enough buffalo to free the cub.

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Last Week Tonight – Hobby Lobby

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hobby lobby

If you haven’t already noticed Classy Dicks are big fans of John Oliver and Last Week Tonight on HBO. This time John covers Hobby Lobby, and as usual does it in a hilarious fashion. I’m not sure if it’s sad or not but I get most of my news from shows like this. Make me laugh and inform me in a way my small brain will understand.

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