Guess the Country: Erotic Carp Calendar

Tweet about this on Twitter0Share on Facebook0Share on Tumblr0Pin on Pinterest0

Here is a new game I’m going to play periodically called “Guess the Country”.  I’ll bring up a few clues as to what the country did/some hints about the country to help guide you then you try to guess it correctly and if you do, you get a pat on the back. Deal? Deal.

This Country just put out a calendar that features naked (or almost naked) girls holding live carp.

This Country is known for a lot of weird stuff over the years (especially in regards to sexual stuff, i.e. porn and whatnot {not that I’d know…..})

This Country was an enemy of the US in the WWII.

Can you guess the country that put this calendar out?

Hit the jump for the answer.

Details

Video Games Are Dumb

Tweet about this on Twitter0Share on Facebook0Share on Tumblr0Pin on Pinterest0

Video Games Are Dumb is a new video by TomSka, in which he is telling me something I already knew. More often than not, the narrative of most games is not what draws me in. Give me solid gameplay and I can easily overlook the story you’re trying to tell me. make things shiny and make em fun.

Hit the jump dummy

Details

Awkward Auntie Kisses

Tweet about this on Twitter0Share on Facebook0Share on Tumblr0Pin on Pinterest0

The holidays are great for getting together to reminisce or make new memories with friends and family. Above Average brings us “Awkward Auntie Kisses” where brother and sister talk about which aunt gives the more frequent and unnecessary kisses. Well hey that’s cute and all, but I’ll take your two aunts and raise you one Uncle Larry. Awkward uncle kisses trump aunt kisses everyday of the week, hands down. Shit needs to stop Larry!

Hit the jump for kisses

Details

Weekly Wrap 12/5/14

0000 It seems Classy Dicks has a slight poo fetish this week. Guidelines on how to poo at work, ripping on poor santa and his lactose deficiency. What’s next? how to remove the poo after a pull out? Gross, I will never understand the poo fetish, unlike these two… Maybe I’m just old and bitter…

Details

Eating Hot Dogs The Quick Way

Tweet about this on Twitter0Share on Facebook0Share on Tumblr0Pin on Pinterest0

Chewing your food and namely hot dogs is so last year, life is way to fast paced to do anything other than inhale and swallow your food whole. Professional eater LA Beast takes a crack at the Guinness World Record for hot dog consumption. I don’t want to give anything away except the results are mixed.

Hit the jump for hot dogs

Details

Drunk Aquaman

Tweet about this on Twitter0Share on Facebook0Share on Tumblr0Pin on Pinterest0

The best Aquaman is drunk Aquaman, period. I get the fact that he has legitimate super powers, but no one cares because they are the lamest of the bunch. I hope the Justice League movie follows in the footsteps of this sketch from UCBcomedy and comedian Alan Starzinski. Keep Aquaman sauced and I’ll keep smiling.

Hit the jump ya drunk

Details

Even Santa Poops

Tweet about this on Twitter0Share on Facebook0Share on Tumblr0Pin on Pinterest0

Here we have a Christmas themed commercial for PooPourri, a bathroom product you spray in your toilet to prevent smells from getting out. Three children stumble upon Santa taking a shit in their home and offer him the product, because Santa is awfully smelly and also lactose intolerant I’m guessing. My only issue with this whole thing, is Santa shits with the door open? pretty inexcusable since you’re in the kid/gifting business. Total creepster move Santa, shut the door!

Hit the jump for Xmas poo

Details

Presidents as Pokemon: Great Alternative History or Greatest Alternative History

Tweet about this on Twitter0Share on Facebook0Share on Tumblr0Pin on Pinterest0

“George Warshingtortle could shoot bubbles out of his mouth and extinguish fires from a great distance with no risk to anyone else”

“Charmandrew Jackson was almost assassinated by someone’s cunning plan to pour water over his tail fire”

“Thomeowth Jefferson helped raise the wealth of the United States by being a cat who can literally materialize coins from nowhere to use as weapons”

If these facts seem too good to be true, it’s because they are.  These facts would be true if Pokemon were a) real and b) past presidents of the United States.  While Doc Brown continues to work on building a flux capacitor, and Pokemon continue to force their way slowly into our society through the process of evolution, we will just have to sit back and deal with the boring hand of history we were dealt.  Human presidents whose ability to say more than just their name has lead this country to what it is today, instead of The United States of Wartortlepickachucharizardcaterpie.

Hit the jump for some classy presidential pokemon

Details

Damo and Darren – ‘Train Station’

Tweet about this on Twitter0Share on Facebook0Share on Tumblr0Pin on Pinterest0

Melbourne based animator Michael Cusack brings us Damo and Darren in ‘Train Station’. The animated short gives us a peak at bogans or train rats as I’m told they are called, which are essentially what we might call hillbilly/white trash here in America. I’ve done some reading on this subject and people seem to be split on whether this video accurately depicts bogans and trailer rats. My only personal connections to Australia have been Mel Gibson and Paul Hogan , so I’m really hoping this is true to life because I want to watch and enjoy this. I just never want to live next door to it.

Hit the jump bogan

Details

Pooping at Work, For the People in Big Companies

Tweet about this on Twitter0Share on Facebook0Share on Tumblr0Pin on Pinterest0

Now listen.  Everyone I know has their own ritual and philosophy for pooping outside of their house, where the home bowl advantage isn’t a factor.  Some people follow the little tips and tricks that the video gives, while others will forgo pooping outside of their house and just save it for one glorious porcelain relaxation session when they get home.  However, what this video doesn’t get into is the harrowing effects of working at a small company and having to use the bathroom.  That’s the horror I live everyday, and I’m here to drop some knowledge on you.

1) There is only a one person bathroom and it is right near other peoples office.  If you make any noise louder than a peep you just have to assume they heard everything……everything.  It’s a small room filled with tiles and not much acoustic dampening.  Don’t expect any applause for your porcelain concerto when you get out.  More likely than not, you’ll be avoiding eye contact with people in those offices and taking a walk of shame back to your cube.

2) Similarly, since it’s only a one person bathroom, people can usually dedeuce (GET IT, GET IT??) who’s in there if they have to go and door is locked.  So just like before, when you leave your unspeakable stink in the room, people are gonna know who did it.  Judgment galore!

3) The one benefit though, is if you know the people you work with well enough, you can go in there and just carpet bomb the toilet like you’re looking for oil. Because at the end of the day they may give you flak for it, but you’ll have left that bathroom knowing someone has to go into that bathroom after you, god bless his/her soul, and there is not a stinkier revenge than that.

Hit the jump for Pooping Pro Tips!

Details

Flirtmoji’s, Sexting Redefined

Tweet about this on Twitter0Share on Facebook0Share on Tumblr0Pin on Pinterest0

In the fast paceed world of today, it’s no wonder the phone sex sessions of yesteryear have fallen to the wayside.  To the horny individual on the go, sexting has become a huge way to show your significant other or bootycall just exactly what you want, without having to use any words!  However, what happens if those emojis get misconstrued?? I mean The English Guard and an Airplane? Does she want to elope in England? Does she want to do some English Roleplay?  Does she want you to give her a British Airliner (not recommended for amateurs in the bedroom)?  Well Flirtmoji’s are here to clear up any confusion that may arise.  Want to try some bondage? Boom, fuzzy handcuffs and a leather strapped suit.   Just some regular P in V? There’s about 30 different dick icons to use.  Want a gerbil in ya bum?  Bingo Bango, Gerbil in a condom emoji.  Apparently there’s some free ones, some paid one.  But whatever you choose to get, just let it be known you’ll be making your point clear to anyone and everyone.

Hit the jump for a few more flirtmojis you want to see and even more you don’t.

Details