Well this is it folks, someone has finally brought to life what every male who grew up in the 80’s has dreamed of. Now we can finally know what it’s like to jerk off with a Power Glove! Enter the Handie, a tool straight from Satan’s tool bench to what I can only assume is to mangle your dick in new and marvelous ways. It may trick you into thinking that everything is okay given its hand gesture, but let me assure you, Things are not. To start off, it looks like you’re putting your dick into a cigar cutter, which I’m sure will only alleviate any worries that the Handie is a do-it-yourself Lorena Bobbit kit. Secondly, Self Lubrication System. Let that sink in for a second. Just the sound of it makes me shudder. And lastly, it has a catcher for that fresh batch of shame you just whipped up. So instead of sending your future children into a tissue to throw away, you’re left cleaning it out of the Handie in a regretful fashion.
So long story short, if you want to jerk it but want it to be different, stick with the stranger and save yourself $50.
I’ll lend you a hand after the jump.